Parents Under Impression Kids Prefer Summer Camps To Doing Fuck All

AS summer holidays loom into view once again, parents around the country are frantically attempting to arrange camps and activities for their kids instead of just listening to what they actually want to do.

Not only are children expected to put down their tablets for several hours a day and leave the friends on the green that they actually like playing with, but some are also expected to get up even earlier than they would if they were at school to go hang out with kids they’ve never met and do shit they’ve never expressed an interest in, ever.

“Do you think they’d like to try archery? There’s a week-long camp in the community centre that suits us from a time point of view,” suggested one harassed Waterford parent of a pair of primary school kids who want to do nothing except play Minecraft all day.

“What about the drama club up the road? It runs for a whole month,” added another, whose children will subsequently be bullied for the rest of their school-going life for spending a summer putting on a shit play.

“Would anyone like to ask us what we’d like?” pleaded the younger children of Ireland, before their older sibling informed them that it’s not a battle they’re going to win and that it’s ‘best just to go along with it’.