How To Organise A Girl’s Night Out Without Inviting Sarah, A Guide

A PROPER night out is overdue but there’s one problem – no one wants Sarah there Sarahing up the place with all her well-established Sarahness!

Here’s how to execute a flawless Sarah free night out:

Create new WhatsApp group

Not the one that has all the girls except Sarah in it. A new, additional one called GirlCrew which doesn’t include Sarah AND Rachel, who as we all know, is liable to inadvertently spill the beans. She will be informed of the night at the last available minute.

The venue

Don’t pick somewhere you as a group have spoken of wanting to go before. Worst case scenario would then be having to go again within a short window of time with Sarah and pretend to be experiencing it all again for the first time.

Alibis

Ironclad alibis. Everyone must be busy on the night in question but with things like ‘turbo diarrhea’, ‘studying’, ‘mourning death of pet fish’. Rehearse the stories. Be Meryl Streep when it comes to telling those stories to Sarah.

Someone has to take the hit

To really throw Sarah off the scent, one if not two of the gang have to create a false flag ‘secret girls outing’ to which Sarah is invited. This will not be a full night out, as that would be unbearable. This can be a quick coffee catch up with established ‘outs’ such as a family lunch which means the catch up need only last max an hour.

Spend the entire night out bitching about Sarah

What better way to spend your well earned night out free of Sarah by really letting your hair down and making the entire night about her through the medium of incredibly hurtful take downs behind her back.