“It’s A Nightmare That Won’t End”: Public Makes Statement At Harry Trial


MILLIONS of people from around the world have contributed to an emotional victim impact statement detailing the negative effect that Prince Harry’s trial against the media has had on the public over the last number of years.

The statement spoke of the public’s initial love and support for the royal and his wife Meghan Markle, but pinpointed the moment where the whole thing lurched over into ‘is he still going on about that?’ territory.

Although the public were quick to stress that while they have no love for the tabloid media whatsoever, or indeed the Royal Family, they could no longer continue to support Harry following years of Netflixual abuse.

“Please respect our privacy at this time – and that means you, Harry,” read the statement. “We had a lot of sympathy for him as a child when we watched him grieve his mother and then grow up to become a young parent himself who stood up for his wife and kids, but when you throw Oprah fucking Winfrey into the mix, geesh, that’s when things got way out of hand.

“Every day we’d wake up to constant Harry news, some from the media, some from him. Indeed, there are those among us who received multiple copies of his book for Christmas, for some reason. We hope that the events of today’s trial will finally put this nightmare to an end”.

Meghan Markle has yet to comment on the matter, which seems to be suiting everyone just fine.