Read The Government’s Heartwarming Message To The Nation’s 3,594 Homeless Children


KEEN not to forget the impact the housing crisis is having on young children across Ireland the coalition government took time out from half-hearted squabbling over tax cuts for middle income earners to directly address those children who have found themselves homeless.

“Firstly, we’d like to apologise for failing to hit our target of 15,000 homeless people. While the 12,259 is impressive and the envy of ineffectual governments everywhere, we won’t become complacent – that target will be reached on another day.

To the 3,594 children of Ireland who have found themselves homeless we say we know you’ll be worried, but just remember this is all Sinn Féin’s fault, somehow”.

The short but lovely gesture, in the form of a letter, could lift the spirits of children everywhere. While there has been trouble delivering the letters as homeless children frequently move around and don’t have a home address, those who receive it will surely love knowing Leo Varakar, Micheál Martin and Eamon Ryan are thinking of them.

In the event that this heart-warming message wasn’t enough, a government spokesperson added that ‘Ireland remains a great place for investment funds to buy property’, ‘we’re at full employment’ and ‘the typical salary of first time buyers of new homes is €90,000’.