Government ‘Baby Bundle’ Scheme Missing These Key Items

THIS week see’s the roll-out of the government’s new ‘baby bundle’ scheme, which will see expectant parents receive a range of useful items ahead of the arrival of their newborn.

And while the boxes contain helpful items such as bibs, small educational toys and reusable nappies, critics have hit out the omission of new parent ‘essentials’, including:

Red Bull

This package was clearly put together by a childless singleton who thinks a little cloth ABC book is more pressing for a new parent than an energy drink to help them run on 3 hours of broken sleep.

A subscription to a news website that doesn’t have a comments section

Likewise, providing new parents with the means to read about news and current affairs without having to encounter angry people online is essential for creating a welcoming environment for a new baby. Just check the comments section under any article about giving free babycare items to new parents, if you doubt us.

One fabric surface that doesn’t have puke or poop on it.

A cushion cover without spit-up on it, a rug that a nappy didn’t fall face-down on. Give us a jumper not covered in milk. Just one clean piece of cloth that we can keep in a locked drawer so that we can look at it from time to time and remember what clean things look like.

Lower energy prices

Yeah listen the baby box is nice, cheers for that, but where are we on the lower electricity prices? New baby in the house, need to keep it warm and clean and all that craic was expensive already, so what do you say?

A thing for holding the kid’s first tooth and first lock of hair

New parents only ever receive 13 of these from friends and family, so it would be handy to have one more. Y’never know when the kid is going to have more than one first tooth, after all.