Tin Of Drying Paint In Talks To Host The Late Late Show
RTÉ producers have confirmed they are in talks with a tin of drying grey paint to host the station’s flagship talk show, The Late Late Show, WWN reports.
The lead-based half-filled tin has now joined the race for the nation’s hotseat and has promised to continue the show’s tradition of treating guests like politicians and politicians like guests while maintaining a weekly palliative care waiting room-type feel.
“I’m just looking forward to the vast amount of money my independent limited company will receive over the coming years so I can avoid paying large sums of VAT to the very same State who are paying me,” stated the emulsion earlier today at a press conference.
The slightly moist but drying tin of grey paint added it couldn’t wait to get cracking and looked forward to interviewing a recurring array of Irish TV personalities along with the odd international celebrity who passes through as a courtesy to sell whatever book or film they’re forced to plug at the time.
“I also do my best drying while chatting to virtually unknown people about their horrifically tragic stories,” the tin stated proudly.
“Much like the show’s rock-shandy drinking, ham sandwich munching middle-Ireland viewership, I absolutely thrive on misery and will do my best to crack a tear from the emotionally starved nation too proud to seek their own counselling,” the tin stated, cementing its path to become Ireland’s next big overly paid celebrity everybody gives out about yet watches on a weekly basis.