Want To Earn €292k A Year & Be Answerable To No One? Have You Considering Becoming Head Of The Dept Of Health?

IT’S the most sought after job in Ireland with tens of thousands of workers frequently refreshing job recruitment websites in the hope they see a listing for ‘Secretary General of the Department of Health’.

Any why wouldn’t they? It’s the perfect gig. What average worker wouldn’t give for such a cushy gig.

Haven’t heard about the job spec or perks? Where to start, well, you’re answerable to no one apparently.

Shitting on the office floor and giving the two fingers to everyone, including TDs asking you questions on behalf of the public, is a requirement of the job.

Don’t like answering questions at the Public Accounts Committee? Well just turn it into the ‘What The Fuck Are You Looking At?’ Committee and act more ill-tempered than a stepped-on rattlesnake.

There’s the salary – €292k, and the person in the current role got an €81k pay bump for no reason so who knows how much you could end up earning.

Freedom – it’s your job to define and do with as you please, you can create jobs out of thin air too; you can ring fence €2mn a year for a secondment post for a college (a CMO or anyone really) but if you’re not a team player it won’t work because you’ve got to sit down with the college and make up the job spec etc with them.

Oversight – there’s fuck all of that. Sure, there may be reports and inquiries which state your conduct did not meet the ‘accepted norms of scrutiny, transparency, and accountability’ but even then the Minister for Health and the Taoiseach will rush to your defence.

Yes, a report can say you were wrong to dream up an open-ended €20mn secondment to a university (funded by your department) for the CMO without telling anyone but when that all comes out you can just shrug your shoulders and get on with your day knowing the Minister for Health is too scared of you to do anything.