US Debt Hits $40 Trillion After Biden Buys Round In Temple Bar
THE US economy is teetering on the brink of imminent collapse after president Joe Biden unwisely offered to buy a round in a Temple Bar pub during his visit to Dublin.
“The wallet was out and he was all ‘let’s stick this on the business credit card’, it was over before I could stop him,” said one aide recalling the moment Biden bought 8 pints of Guinness, pushing the US total debt from around the reasonable $32 trillion mark to an unmanageable $40 trillion.
Stock markets tanked at the news that Biden had exercised poor financial judgement and believed that buying a few pints in a Dublin tourist hot spot would cost less than a war in the Middle East.
“I think we could have ridden this one out, called in the IMF to take on a small fraction of the Temple Bar bill debt but then Joe bought the packet of Tayto,” said one despairing aide.
The Tayto, a single packet of the Irish snack staple, which was to be shared among the eight people hovering around a crowded table in the pub somehow cost €3.95, tipping the scales on the US national debt.
“The world’s economy is in free fall, we repeat, this will forever be known as the Temple Bar Depression,” said news anchors reporting on the news rather than referring to the mental state of the person forced to wear that leprechaun costume around Temple Bar.