Girlfriend’s Annoying Habits Include Pointing Out All Man’s Annoying Habits

A LOCAL man is said to be finding it difficult to navigate the stormy waters of cohabitation with his girlfriend due to prominence of her annoying habits.

“I can’t fart, pick my nose, leave skid marked boxers on the floor or DM Instagram thirst trap influencers without her on my bleeding case,” a beleaguered Eoin Taney explained to friends, who offered a sympathetic ear.

“I knew moving in together would be hard but this one habit of hers does my head in, the ways she’s always pointing out how I owe her three months worth of bills, pop my spots onto the bathroom mirror and leave the putrid puss there. Honestly, it’s constant lads,” added Taney, a severely browbeaten man who is just trying his best.

Taney admitted that he would ‘probably get an earful’ if girlfriend Jane Malloy found out about his affair with a work colleague too, such is the prolific nature of her habit of pointing out his flaws.

Walking on eggshells, it has got to the point where Taney is even afraid to ask Malloy to help fake a doctor’s cert for him again, needed this time so he doesn’t have to take holidays in order to recover for his midweek bender with the lads.

“I shit you not lads, I’ll just be there in a K-hole with the front door open and a wild badger in the bathtub and she’ll be like ‘didn’t think of hovering, no?’ Like she’s Miss Perfect,” Taney concluded, to incredulous shakes of the head from his mates.