Ireland’s Greatest Sporting Achievements As Told By Joe Biden

PROVING himself adept at effortlessly working Irish sporting observations and anecdotes into his public addresses as he tours Ireland, US president Joe Biden shared yet more great Irish sporting achievements that could even top Rob Kearney defeating the Black and Tans:

“And you know Ireland wasn’t that multicultural, to have a Pakistani goal-tender, wow, I mean c’mon what a save from the execution kick too” – Biden recalling Packie Bonner’s Italia 90 heroics.

“Bravest thing I ever done seen, I’ll tell you that, she boxed that tank on Tiananmen Square right in the kisser” – on Katie Taylor’s gold medal in London in 2012, not Beijing in 2008.

“Ireland is home to a world champion hide and seeker, bet you didn’t know that?” – talking about the kidnapping of race horse Shergar by the IRA.

“Circular fella, hollow in the middle, made of gold – great with the stick” – on hurling great Christy Ring’s All-Ireland successes.

“This British guy was a mean machine, he knocked this out in 5 second flat” – a perfect error-free recall of British UFC fighter Conor McGregor’s victory over Jose Aldo.

“Irish samurai are a rare thing, but he was out there on this little Japanese island, Saipan, and he stuck the knife in on this English guy called Mick, which is ironic because Mick is what all Irish people are called in the US” – Biden recalling the beginning of Ireland’s second civil war.

“To be a world champion in my book you’ve got to punch the Queen in London and that’s exactly what he did” – on misremembering Barry McGuigan’s 1985 world title fight victory over Eusebio Pedroza in London.

“One of the great champions, how many beers did he gulp? All-time great gulper Debbie Harry” – on Padraig Harrington’s three major wins.

“They beat this English guy so hard he literally shit himself” – Biden recalling Gary Lineker soiling himself on the field, due to a bout of diarrhoea, while playing Ireland in Italia 90.