Man Kicking Himself For Saying Sorry To Stranger Who Got In His Way

KICKING himself for what must be the ten thousandth time in his lifetime, Conor Maher vowed to never apologise for anything ever again after a man barged towards him out of a shop entrance forcing him to step back out of his way while somehow saying sorry.

“Why did I say sorry? He’s the bollocks storming out and getting in my way,” Maher chastised himself, sickened he didn’t ‘clothesline the cunt’ instead and then dance on his head, “he didn’t even have the decency to acknowledge my saying sorry, just brushed past me like I was toenail dirt”.

Maher’s track record for saying sorry for things he didn’t do is believed to have stemmed from his polite upbringing in rural Ireland, where everyone says sorry for things that carry no fault.

“This is mostly a culchie based phenomenon where the culchie believes deep down that their entire existence is the problem,” believes apology expert Dr David Stapelton, “rural folk say sorry on average 500 times per day for things that carry no real blame, like getting in someone’s way, but are unable to process the encounter without apologising for simply being there – we found that if a culchie could just disappear forever at these moments, they would”.

Conor Maher has since taken up a new approach for such an encounter.

“Now, instead of saying sorry I just tell people the get the fuck out of my way,” he informed, “I find this is a lot more enjoyable and people seem to respect me more for the honesty”.