Last Time Nation Heard From Barry Cowen He Was Getting Sacked Over Drink-Driving Conviction


MAKING headlines for comparing a proposed extension to the eviction ban to ‘making sweets free for children’, the nation initially struggled to place the name of Fianna Fáil TD Barry Cowen in their minds.

“Oh wait I remember now, he’s the prick who was caught drink-driving, didn’t inform the party, claimed over €7,000 in driving expenses during the 3 months he was banned from driving, alleged to have tried to avoid the Garda checkpoint by doing a u-turn, that Barry Cowen yeah?” mused the public.

Further analysis suggests that extending the eviction ban is actually ‘more like trying to prevent an increase in the number of children being made homeless’.

In some quarters criticism of Cowen’s comments was called into question.

“This sort of criticism is what puts good people like Barry off entering politics. If you can’t have a good old laugh comparing families being made homeless to giving away free sweets, how do you expect to keep such intellectual titans in Irish politics,” offered one man who looked suspiciously like Barry Cowen with a moustache.

However, the majority of the public felt the comments left them with a sick feeling in their stomach like the one you get when a Dáil full of landlord TDs start coming out with detached and sociopathic comments.

“No, do you know what ‘making sweets free for children’ is a more apt comparison for? When his brother bailed out the fucking banks. You know I think I’ve rediscovered a love for analogies – putting Fianna Fáil in charge of housing is like putting a drunk behind the wheel,” chimed in one member of the public.

“Lifting the eviction ban before having any so-called ‘safety nets’ in place is like putting a fire out with petrol, no, putting your seat belt on after a crash, opening the barn door to help the horse bolt, jumping out of an airplane and then ordering a parachute online”.

In other news, ahead of Saturday’s end to the eviction ban there’s currently a record low number of HAP rentals available nationwide.