Estate Agent’s Claim Area Is ‘Up And Coming’ Drowned Out By Gunfire


SELLING a property to desperate would-be homeowners is usually the easiest part of the job for estate agent Clara Finnegan but one couple are reluctant to buy her claim that the area in which the €450,000 two-and-a-half-bed property they are viewing resides in is ‘up and coming’.

“Is the crime scene tape always cordoning off the road or can residents gain access with their cars?” queried married couple Una and Brian Diffney, who didn’t quite catch what Finnegan was saying due to the persistent sound of gunfire, smashing glass and general divilment.

“You’re within a colourful imagination’s distance of decent services and schools,” explained Finnegan, her voice rising to be heard.

“This area is what we call in a period of transition, in flux. These poorly maintained streets littered with rubbish and teens threatening us are the chrysalis from which your future house will emerge into a beautiful gentrified butterfly, and then you call sell it on for an even more overinflated price”.

After receiving yet more push back from the couple over her listing off of the areas ‘unique charms’, Finnegan was left with no choice but to put it another way.

“It’s this or renting your whole life, or are you living with the parents? C’mon, work with me here. If you want this enough, you can convince yourself potentially getting stabbed is worth crippling yourself with a mortgage you can barely afford,” Finnegan reasoned, as nearby riot police moved them over to the next street for their own safety.