Whole Vibe In Club Thrown Off After Decrepit 30-Somethings Arrive

IT WAS unfolding like any other carefree and fun night in a city centre nightclub until it was gate-crashed by a group of 30-somethings in search of a post-pub closing pint.

Young and effervescent regulars had been lost in amongst the throngs of sweaty dancers, but the kill-joy capacity of quickly aging 30-somethings has rendered the vibe in the club ‘changed utterly’.

“They’re hideous,” one 20-year-old said of the shambling crew of 30-somethings, dry-retching at the smell of sambuca while showing less skin than an ISIS bride.

Straining at the volume of the music and shielding their eyes from a stray strobe light, the ungainly figures tried manfully to ‘blend in’ by loudly discussing how young everyone was and how clubs were better craic in their day.

“They’re in the weird limbo of not being old enough to be a welcome random novelty we can ironically join in a dance circle, it’s just a bit… sad,” declared another bright young thing, slowly inching away from one of the 30s crew whose last orders were 10 pints of Guinness with whiskey chasers as relentless drum and bass punctured the air.