RYAN TUBRIDY’S shock announcement that he is to step down from The Late Late Show gig after 14 years has already prompted violent altercations in the RTÉ canteen as Miriam O’Callaghan can be heard shouting ‘best believe I’ll cut any bitch that tries to take this from me’.

With the bookies already offering money on who could replace Tubridy, WWN runs through the contenders:

Enoch Burke

The obvious choice. The draining and demanding Late Late Show gig requires someone who keeps turning up, week after week, even when people have long stopped giving a shit.

Miriam O’Callaghan

Having spent a decade secretly recording all incriminating conversations with RTÉ management in preparation for this eventuality, O’Callaghan has dirt on everyone.

A different member of the public each week

Using the Winning Streak drum, a random name will be called each week and they will be chosen to host. Will it be a complete and unmitigated car crash? Yes, and so it ensures a smooth transition into the new era which offers viewers more of what they’re used to.

Tommy Tiernan

Moving the host of a show, popular in large part because it’s nothing like the stuffy, bloated and self-serious Late Late Show, from his beloved show is just the sort of bad idea RTÉ bosses are sure to think is the perfect solution.

Jennifer Zamparelli

A sensible choice if RTÉ are looking to move on from the programme being fronted by divisive personality who splits opinion.

One Of The Johnnies

Making the presenting pair fight to the death for the gig could be a ratings winner.

Paul Murphy

RTÉ’s predictably woke virtue signalling Marxist agenda makes the communist TD the obvious choice. Panti Bliss to replace the Late Late owl.

Carl Mullan

He is inevitable. You cannot stop him. Resistance is futile.

Lottie Ryan

Described as the perfect blend of effortless charm and charisma by Lottie Ryan’s agent.

Other less fancied contenders include:

Flemming Bat

Man who slipped on the ice

The corpse Of Fungi

Graham Linehan

Twink

A twink

John Waters

Two Toy Show kids in a trench coat.

Gemma O’Doherty

Graham Norton co-hosting with Jonathan Ross, Conan O’Brien and Stephen Colbert.

A relation of RTÉ exec.