Eamon Ryan Unveils New Scare-Drone At Dublin Airport


ACTING on renewed calls across the board to tackle rogue civilian drones from grounding commercial flights, Minister for Transport Eamon Ryan proudly unveiled a state-the-art scare-drone at Dublin airport this morning.

At a cost of 10 million euros, the dummy drone attached to a wire was erected at 9am and is expected to ‘scare away other drones’, much like similar fake birds do at the perimeter of the airport, Eamon Ryan confirmed.

“When the drones see the bigger dummy-drone they’ll be frightened and will fly away in terror,” the Green Party leader explained, his eyes now staring off into the distance, imaging the scenario, “they’ll be like, ‘oh no! That drone looks menacing and might attack or eat me so I’m definitely not going in there’.

“Then word will get out on the flight paths among other drones that there’s a new boss in town called Scare Drone 3000. Rumours will be spread about how dangerous Scare Drone 3000 is and no one – I mean no one – will ever dare fly their puny drones near this airport ever again”.

When asked if he knew that drones weren’t sentient, instinctual creatures and are mostly controlled by morons who literally don’t care that there are 200 tonne planes packed full of people flying in and out of the airport, Mr Ryan quickly pointed out that Scare Drone 3000 doesn’t run on fuel as is attached to a wire, so is environmentally friendly.

“You people are always pointing out the negatives,” Ryan concluded, before being ushered into an awaiting Audi A8 by his irate handlers.