Woman Doesn’t Like Being Seen Out In Public Without Filter On

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“CAN’T you just go, I’ve only got a full face of make up on,” confirmed local woman Noelle Taggart to her boyfriend Jack Faherty as last minute changes were made to a planned couples’ excursion to a local brunch hotspot.

Taggart (24) is just one of the latest in a long line of young people who refuse to be caught out in public without a full suite of social media app face filters on.

“I don’t have my freckles on or my smooth, featureless forward nevermind my oversized sparkling green eyes. Just get the brunch to go, please Jack, I can’t be seen without Bold Glamour, it’s like rack but for wildly distorting my own perception of myself” begged Taggart, not feeling the trip is worth the risk that someone who only knows her from her online persona could bump into her and find out that she has what medical professionals are calling ‘a perfectly normal face’.

Boyfriend Faherty, who understands somewhat what Taggart is going through due to him often remarking ‘is that me?’ when he catches a stray filter in a couple selfie with Taggart, enlisted the confidence boosting powers of his partner’s closest friend, Jane.

“Babe, I’m telling you, you look so completely different in your online pics that even if someone did bump into you they wouldn’t even know it was you, relax. For the millionth time you’re gorgeous, stop fretting,” Jane said of Taggart’s increasingly worrying struggles with reminding herself that the filtered version she projects online is in fact not her real appearance.

In response to the troubling rise in body issues among young people who spend a lot of time online experience, one enterprising, socially-conscious tech company confirmed their intentions to maximise their profits by selling wall-mounted mirrors that come with pre-loaded filters on them.

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