Parameters Of ‘Lovely Hurling’ To Be Redefined

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IRELAND may be forced to retire the phrase ‘lovely hurling’ following a tumultuous week for the image of the sport, following revelations and accusations that one of it’s biggest stars may have been up to a lot of unlovely activities.

The star, who cannot be named for legal reasons, is currently being investigated for a decade-long fraud hustle in which he collected hundreds of thousands of euro in donations for his battle against a cancer that he didn’t have.

In a separate case, Kilkenny all-star DJ Carey was also brought under scrutiny for a write-off of loans worth nearly €10mn euro, all adding up to a rough week for the sport of hurling and the notion that it is lovely in any way.

“The worry here now is that say someone says ‘that’s lovely hurling’, will people mistakenly think that’s something bad?” worried one cunning linguist we spoke to.

“It’s not an issue with other sports. For example, there’s DJ Carey’s sister Catriona, who is under investigation for alleged company law breaches. She played hockey, but nobody says ‘lovely hockey’ so there’s no issue there. But with hurling, your mind automatically goes to Kilkenny, then from Kilkenny to DJ Carey who was one of the most iconic stars, then from DJ Carey to, y’know, shenanigans. He’s done for hurling what Hitler did for wee moustaches”.

A quick poll by WWN shows that most people are okay with still using ‘lovely hurling’ as hurling really can be lovely, even if some hurlers are complete pricks.

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