China’s Complete List Of Excuses For Weather Balloon Over US Soil


THE CHINESE government continue to deny that the balloon shot down over US soil had spying capbilities and was in fact a weather balloon.

WWN has obtained copies of internal Chinese Communist Party communications on the matter which reveal the party leadership were busy brain storming excuses in the hours after US intelligence discovered its presence.

Possible explanations China have considered using include:

The balloon was part of an elaborate and beautiful gender reveal party for Xi Jinping’s daughter Xi Mingze and you had to go ruin it America, didn’t you.

An over-enthusiastic clown at a child’s birthday party made a balloon animal elephant too large and lost control of it.

The balloon was a Deliveroo driver who got lost.

It was a routine special effects test for the sequel to the sci-fi alien movie Nope.

US authorities are mistaken and they actually shot down the balloon house from UP!

If the US aren’t going to buy the weather balloon excuse, fine but don’t expect China to warn them about the tornado tsunami combo headed for the White House this evening.

You ever just want to get away from your wife once in awhile?

“It was a prank bro” – CCP members suggested, part of a Chinese version of Impractical Jokers.