Weirdo Would Have Just Turned Up Outside Schools Everyday If Knew It Was This Easy


READING up on a high profile case in the news in recent months which has seen someone not permitted on the grounds of a school repeatedly turn up has local weirdo Lorcan Thussey questioning everything he thought he knew about socially acceptable behaviour in public.

“I always had it in my head that if you lingered outside a school all day, like, no one would stand for it. That’s a weight off knowing that’s not the case,” said Thussey, putting on his trench coat and consulting a list of schools in his locality.

Thussey was not alone in being caught slightly off guard by the recent discovery that it’s okay for grown men to hang about outside schools.

“And here was me hiding in the bushes, the amount of nettle stings and thorns on me arse I could have I avoided had I known that if you were persistently annoying enough people would even defend you hanging outside schools,” added another individual.

“I’ve no logical claim to be outside a school mind, no quarrel with anyone and my dad definitely wouldn’t drop me off but it’s worth a shot”.

Others have questioned the prevailing extreme left-wing progressive attitudes now present in Ireland that has seen stigma relating to standing outside schools at which you have no children, grandchildren or nieces and nephews attending lessen.

Elsewhere, men in their 20s driving souped cars have welcomed the change in attitudes stating it makes it easier for them to collect their girlfriends from secondary school.