Misogynist Takes On First Apprentice


LOCAL new father and misogynist Cormac Balratton has spoken on his happiness at taking on his first ever apprentice and describes the task of training up his apprentice in the ways of sexism as ‘daunting but an honour’.

“It’ll just be the basics to begin with,” confirmed Balratton who will oversee an apprenticeship of a minimum length of 18 years.

“I won’t get hands on with the practical stuff until he’s a teenager but I hope to give him the sort of education where he can pick up a bit of everything,” said Balratton, who is already curating a Youtube playlist full of pick up artist compilation videos and Andrew Tate sermons.

“Telling his mum how she can’t be going for drinks with work people if there’s male colleagues there, telling him how you should never trust women because they’re sly by nature – that kind of thing,” continued Balratton, visibly emotional at the weight of responsibility on his shoulders.

In addition to introducing foundational texts, Balratton has confirmed his son is never too young to learn how the world is strictly divided into ‘lad’s stuff’ and ‘bird’s stuff’.

“Like, if I take him to the zoo and he’s not into the predators and likes the flamingos or something sissy and stupid…he won’t be ready overnight, this is an education years in the making,” said the doting dad of one son and additional less important child who is not a son.