“There Is No Escape, I Am Everywhere”

IN our latest entry of the WWN Voices series, we give a platform to people we really shouldn’t. This week is the turn of Bono, in his sole media appearance promoting his little heard about memoir.

“I am the totality of your reality, I am your breath both in and out, I am your first and last thought. There is no escape, I am everywhere.

Graham Norton, Irish Times, Apple projecting ads for it into your mind. The gargantuan behemoth on the horizon, I loom over you like the sun. I shine on you all and when I set I become your moon.

Go on change the channel and try and find a station that isn’t plugging my book. You can’t, can you? You switch on the radio but I am the radio, you look in the mirror for proof you’re not going mad but I’m behind you. Your bed is now one giant Bono book, it’s fold in on you so you become my bookmark.

The cover of my book will be burned into your retina, you will receive 14 copies of it for Christmas even if you’ve spent 30 years talking about how insufferable you find me. I am inevitable.

You may think you can escape me, but you will be accosted by a brother-in-law at Christmas who will insist the book is great, before trying to tell you 20 different anecdotes as you run from him. But there is no running from me.

Just you wait until they turn this into a stage show, TV series, podcast, movie and re-leased pop-up book!”