Here Is Our Review Of Black Adam Which We Absolutely Wouldn’t Say To The Rock’s Face

THE ROCK starring Black Adam blockbuster hit cinemas last week and we have some strong opinions on the movie, none of which we would say directly to Dwayne Johnson if it came to it.

“We just didn’t care for it,” is something we’re comfortable saying about the DC movie having double checked The Rock is not currently in the same country as us.

“It’s lifeless, devoid of joy and not nearly as subversive as The Rock indicated in his many social media posts about it,” and don’t quote us on that, the fucker is huge.

“Pierce Brosnan was a highlight, which begs the question can The Rock lead a franchise if he’s outshone by every other member of the cast?”

Writing these words in the office = easy.

Having to back them up and vocalise them in a public forum or during a press junket The Rock is attending = nope, not doing it.

“We’ve reached the point where superhero movies just all blend into one bland flavourless cake, but that still doesn’t excuse Black Adam being such a slog” is our true feelings on the matter but if The Rock turns up at our door it will very much be “dude, it fuckin’ rules!”

“If the DC cinematic universe was on life support, Black Adam was the doctor that botched the life-saving surgery,” not the most solid burn but at the end of the day this guy could rip our arms clean off and use them as toothpicks so there’s that to consider.