YOU MAY have heard some nasty rumours put out by some people that Qatar is inhospitable to LGBT people, criminalises them and would not be a safe country to travel to for the World Cup. Well, WWN has partnered with the Qatari tourism board to dispel these unhelpful myths.
“It’s actually a really cool and tolerable place,” said one Qatari official as they wined and dined us, “as long as you respect our country wink wink nudge nudge”, added the official brandishing an executioner’s sword.
It was clear we had misjudged our lovely hosts, just as all those imprisoned members of the Qatari LGBT community had. If we felt guilty about this, we can only imagine how guilty the intolerable activists wrongfully casting the Qatari regime as inhumane now feel.
“No,” our new friend told us when we asked if we could talk to a member of the LGBT community, “they are too busy being tolerated elsewhere in an undisclosed location”. We could though enjoy a 5-day all expenses paid luxury tour around the nice parts of Qatar.
Later our hosts relented and we met with a number of people from Qatar’s LGBT community, we couldn’t have met a better treated group of lawyers, graphic designers, biochemists and teachers. They were straight up delighted with their lot in this fine country.
Proving the haters wrong, it’s just one PR win after another for Qatar as they prep for the world cup, not even being sued by a group of women forced to undergo a vaginal exam at Doha airport could paint the regime in a bad light.
Elsewhere, a spokesperson for David Beckham said the ex-footballer has slotted into his role as a Qatar ambassador well and despite the treatment of LGBT people gnawing away at his soul as it rots from the inside out, he said after awhile your bank balance gets used to it.
DISCLOSURE: WWN was gifted a dozen World Cup stadium slave labourers in exchange for writing this piece.