Does ‘King Charles’ Sound Very Wanky To Anyone Else?


EVEN the most hardened of royalists has admitted that they are finding it hard to get used to saying ‘King Charles’, with many opting to just call him something they’re more familiar with such as ‘Prince Charles’, ‘Charles’, ‘Charlie boy’ or ‘Big Ears’.

“I don’t see myself ever referring to him as ‘the King’ the same way as we said ‘the Queen’, you know? It’s a bit wanky,” said one English person we spoke to today.

“The Queen’s Speech at Christmas, to me, will still be the Queen’s Speech. Except it’ll be ‘The Queen’s Speech, delivered by Prince Charles”. ‘King Charles’ just… just no. It’s weird. Maybe it’s just the notion that last week he was a prince and now he’s a king, it makes the whole monarchy thing just seem a bit fucking daft, doesn’t it?”.

Alternative titles have been mooted for Charles in a bid to help the public accept his transition to the throne include:

– Good luck Chuck

– Charlie And The Monarch Factory

– King ft. Adam Lambert

– ‘The Elvis of Britain’

– Prince Prince Charles

– Ol’ Tampon Boy Himself.

Meanwhile, the task of changing every single coin, note and stamp in circulation from the Queen’s face to Charles’ has been described as ‘a massive pain in the arse’, with many suggesting it would just be easier for Charles to get plastic surgery to look like his mam instead.