Everyone Getting Rode To Fuck, Finds Latest ESRI Report

PEOPLE from all reaches of society are being ‘rode to fuck’, a new report from the Economic and Social Research Institute (ESRI) has found.

The new research suggests that everyone is being gouged left, right and centre with no end in sight to being rode into oblivion like some kind or paraplegic bunny stuck headfirst in a warren.

“Energy companies are riding you, fuel companies are riding you, hotels are riding you, bars are riding you, shops are riding you, landlords are riding you, banks are riding you, even your own government is riding you and all you can do is sit there and let them rip your behind open until all your intestines flop out onto the floor into a steaming pile of gloop,” the report states.

The report pinpointed that the working and middle classes were getting far more action than those in the higher tier, the latter of which seemingly doing most of the riding while swaying one hand in the air like a rodeo cowboy shouting ‘yee haaw’ with every thrust of their throbbing member.

Commenting on the report, author Mark Tracey of the ESRI said: “People should find solace in the fact that everyone is being unwillingly bent over and shafted equally by the same group of profiteers at the top of the chain, so that’s something to note,” concluding, “dare I say we’re all being rode together?”