Local Lad Pretty Confident He’d Be Kicked Out Of Love Island Seconds After Entering The Villa

DESPITE NOT looking to project a cocky air, local man Keith Gaskill is fairly confident he’d be fucked clean out of the Love Island by security guards, mere minutes after entering the villa.

“I’m just fully open about having one of those personalities, I’d be saying ‘check out this cunt’ but like as a term of affection but them lot in there wouldn’t take me up right,” Gaskill revealed.

“I’d be wanting a feel of all the lads’ abs, I mean a proper go like. You’ve seen them? Fucking hell, I’d be trying to grate cheese off them. No joke, just can’t help myself that’s why I never applied, I’d be bigging the lads up but I’d be crossing a line saying I bet they ride better than Ruby Walsh. It is what it is, I’m make them feel weird,” Gaskill said matter of fact.

While a big fan of the show, in decent shape and conventionally handsome Gaskill just thinks it’s wise to never entertain the idea of applying to the massive dating show hit.

“I’d love to be hawking Fitea or whatever in me jocks on Instagram but it’s just not compatible. I was made for a different time, the producers might forgive you for saying ‘some hoop on yer one’ but after the 20th time, I’m leaving them no choice in fairness, am I? I’m gone like Madeleine McCann on holiday – see this is what I’m talking about,” offered Gaskill, who has declined every encouragement by friends who say he’d be great on the show.

Gaskill also spoke about his particularly Irish head which would see him instantly discounted by the women in the villa.

“They’d be straight onto the producers asking if I have some kind of medical condition or something, the big fat head on me sure,” Gaskill said, happy to sit this one out.