Does Your Business Have An Appalling Track Record? The Irish Government Wants To Hand You Refugee Contracts

LOOKING to make some quick money, no questions asked? No, don’t meet us in an alleyway round back, simply give the Irish government a call.

As the State is taking in thousands of desperate Ukrainian refugees fleeing war, you can take in some easy money which is fleeing the bank accounts of multiple departments of government with a worrying lack of the normal due diligence.

Don’t worry, the government is happy to use the word ‘unprecedented’ multiple times to explain why they’re not bothering with a normal procurement process, they’ll just hand you the contract.

But what if my business has a truly shameful record in providing things like food in Direct Provision centres? Don’t worry, if Aramark are anything to go by this will enhance your chances if anything. What better proof is needed of catering competence and standards than ‘does food in US prisons’?

Serving up slop and having Direct Provision residents spend a decade complaining about a lack of basic nutrition is a sure fire way for you to be handed a lucrative government contract without any of the usual annoying red tape.

Are you among a raft of developers involved in putting up rotten Swiss cheese during the Celtic Tiger and calling them ‘apartments built to the high standards’?

You are? Well, what are you waiting for there’s probably a contract out there for you to build thousands of modular homes, and it won’t just be you doing the corner cutting as the government is willing to through due process in the bin and hand out contracts like they were part of a Late Late Toy Show giveaway.