WHILE we here at WWN Ladz pride ourselves on being your one stop shop for all your male lifestyle needs, when it comes to reviewing one tallywhacker trimmer we admit to losing the run of ourselves.
Whether your chest looks like a pubey Aran jumper or your balls resemble a barber’s floor, this innuendo-laden euphemistically-deranged review of Manscaped’s Lawn Mower 4.0 is for you.
Have you decided it’s hedge cutting season?
Does your Colm ‘The Gooch’ Cooper need some extra space in the penalty box?
Do the family jewels need a polish?
With a shave as tender as a love song by Adele, the Lawn Mower’s ceramic blades can take it easy on your hurl and sliotars leaving them ready for the big game.
Like a Dublin City Council worker clearing the weeds at the bottom of the Spire, you may be thinking it’s time for you to get your leaning tower of penis looking its glorious best.
The Lawn Mower 4.0 can shave a kiwi fruit for crying out loud, imagine what it can do with your ginger Irish Fanta balls and rusty crack.
South of the equator where the sun don’t shine, there really is no better way to get the twins looking more barren than a pair of Saharan sand dunes. Sheering your domesticles at home has never been easier with the 4.0’s adjustable guard sizes, rechargeable battery and LED spotlight which resembles a combine harvester working at night.
Treat your crown jewels, give a gift to your gear box, pamper your privates, be generous to your gruaig, love your liathróidí, spoil your sperm tanks, be a bro to your brovaries; with its waterproof technology you can even shave while taking your buoys snorkeling.
Be a Don to your Johnson, a simple Buzz Lightyear below can take you to infinity and beyond to peak aerodynamic performance.
Not only does this shaving shaman leave your testicles looking like a set of Jeff Bezos clones, the 4.0 comes with a ball deodorant so fragrant it’s more pungent than the queue for Coppers on a free in before 11pm night.
Like two eggs in a hanky, your lucky charms will thank you for the freedom while the neat shave adds at least a inch to your already over calculated bone zone.
We’re done here.
Total ball reference count: a bollock load.
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