Man Appreciates What Ukraine Is Going Through But Have You Seen The Price Of Petrol Lately?!


LOCAL MAN Fergal Farrin has asked everyone he knows not to jump down his throat and just hear him out because he’s after getting his wallet rinsed there at the petrol pump.

“Ah stop, you don’t have to tell me. Awful stuff going on, pure awful,” said Farrin while leaving a pause at the end of his sentence suggesting that yes, he was really going to say it.

“But the price of petrol is only going one way and that’s up, and you can accuse me of all sorts, but I can only see it through my own on eyes and Christ piggybacking on an otter – you want to talk about crimes against humanity!” Farrin said his eyes glancing toward the price gauge on the petrol pump he was using.

Farrin qualified that while he was no geopolitical expert by any stretch if he knew one thing it was that Russia has a lot of oil and would it not be time to rethink all these sanctions over a bit of war.

“I’m sorry but if it gets anymore expensive I’ll have to switch sides, it’s nothing personal,” Farrin told Joao, the Brazilian petrol station employee he believed to be from Slovankia, a former Yugoslavian bloc country that absolutely doesn’t exist.

“I’m not saying I’ve no dog in the fight but, at the same time, this can’t go on,” Farrin said of petrol prices, rather than the illegal invasion of Ukraine.

“It’d make you cry,” Farrin sobbed now back at home sitting in front of the Six One news his gaze fixed on his wallet.

UPDATE: Farrin, after some quiet reflection, has realised that this is actually all that feckin’ Green Party’s fault and can thus reaffirm his support for Ukraine to Joao next time he’s down the Circle K.