ON FOOT of the revelation that Irish international Callum Robinson has once again failed to get a shot on target despite testing positive for Covid-19 on two separate occasions, the FAI investigative unit is to look into the possibility the Irish team that took to the field and lost 1-0 to Luxembourg in March were up to their eyeballs with a debilitating dose of Covid-19 at the time.
“It would certainly help the public comes to terms with the fact we lost to Luxembourg, if there were a logical explanation slash excuse,” confirmed one FAI official donning a trench coat and doing their best Columbo impression.
Further clarifying the nature of their investigation the FAI confirmed it would not be carried out solely by John Delaney and 12 expense account credit cards, as he is no longer employed by the organisation.
“The starting 11 being bogged double dose of Covid-19 infection would certainly explains some things how groggy, lethargic they players were and why they had the decision making skills of someone in an induced coma?” they added.
Supporters expressed their relief at the possibility and stated a national healing process could be made easier by the fact the teams’ bodies were suffering under the immense strain of recovering from a bad old dose and couldn’t possibly be as bad at football as first feared.
“Phew! So we haven’t just plummeted to the depths of the international game? I’m off to the Credit Union to apply for a loan for a piss up to Qatar,” confirmed excited fans.
A large number of high profile Premier League players have maintained it is there personal choice not to get a vaccine ‘filled with scientists know what?’ citing the fact they have reached ‘heard a rumour on WhatsApp impunity’, preferring instead to possibly contract an infection which has the potential to derail their career, long-term health and status as an elite athlete.
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