Government Housing Plan Delayed As Investment Funds Haven’t Finished Writing It Yet


THE GOVERNMENT has confirmed that its housing strategy for the coming decade ‘Housing For All’ has been delayed and will not be published next week as planned due to investment funds still working on the document’s final wording and loopholes.

“We’re as eager and impatient to find out what we have planned as well, but when the investment funds are ready to tell us they will,” confirmed Minister for Housing Darragh O’Brien, who added that the vested interests will make sure to leave the blanks on the pages where the relevent government emblems, titles and addresses go.

“We say ‘delayed until at least the end of August’ because of course it won’t be ready then either,” confirmed a department insider, amid rumoured disagreements among the three coalition parties on how best not to solve any housing crisis issues.

The public expressed shock at the news the government couldn’t locate a brick in a building supplies factory.

“It’s also a marketing and spin thing, how can we sell build-to-rent, low regulation, poor materials, small spaces apartments in cities to the public but sell it like it’s the only option and not an additional problem on top of no solutions,” continued the insider.

“Anyway to published the plan for 2021-2030 on time would be foolish, this way when we publish it next year or decade we can sneak up on housing prices and catch them by surprise,” concluded the insider.