Republican Fundamentalists Vow To Decapitate Cartoonist Depicting Prophet McDonald


A SLEEPER cell of devout McDonaldists have vowed to exterminate the cartoonist responsible for creating an image of the prophet Mary Lou McDonald which was published in the Sunday Independent, WWN has learned.

Calling for the immediate deaths of all non-believers involved in the publication of the image, the group, who call themselves the ‘Tallaght Ban’, took to various comment sections and forums online, promising ‘swift and lethal revenge’.

“Depicting our prophet McDonald in any other form than her earthly manifestation as a champion of the working class people is forbidden in our republican faith and will have to be dealt with,” a spokesperson for the Tallaght Ban explained during a video call to prayer this morning, backed with an instrumental version of Come Out Ye Black and Tans.

In adherence with the McDonaldist faith, only pre-approved depictions are allowed of the leader and must portray her positively; carrying out modern miracles such as enjoying an increase in support while in opposition during a global pandemic which has shut down the entire country and large sections of the economy.

“Likening our prophet to a witch stirring a cauldron full of Sinn Féin frenzy is also clearly sexist, as our great prophet is a celestial being who has merely taken the form of a woman,” the spokesperson pointed out, now bowing in a northerly direction, “you’d never see a male politician depicted in a negative way”.