AFTER the Irish Midwives and Nurses Organisation told an Oireachtas health committee that 82% of healthcare workers surveyed said tackling Covid-19 has had a negative impact on their mental health, the government was moved to tell nurses to save what remaining energy they have by cutting out the moaning.
“God love ya, we can see you’re tired there. Best thing you can do is stop talking and conserve your energy; no talking to the media, no desperate pleas for help on social media – this is nothing to do with how bad and ineffective it makes us look, more that it probably takes it out of you, you poor lambs,” confirmed a government spokesperson.
“And don’t bring up the fact we’ve okayed an €81,000 pay rise for the incoming secretary general of the Dept. of Health. Hush now, you’re all heroes and we’d feel terrible if we kept you talking – wasting your energy. No, we won’t hear of it, off you go. Bualadh bos everyone. Take care of yourselves now,” added the spokesperson.
As the IMNO highlighted how initial vaccine distribution within the HSE targeted administrative areas and not the front line where Covid-19 was most prevalent, that some nurses still remain without a vaccine, and the fact the recruitment crisis within nursing remains unaddressed, the government pleaded with them to spare their voices.
“Stop now you yawning from exhaustion is making us yawn despite the fact we’ve been getting our 8 hours sleep,” added the spokesperson, who asked nurses to resist reciting all the waiting list issues as we’d be here all day.
“Whist now, the more you talk the more we’ll have pay PR firms to spin this against you, make you look ungrateful, workshy, lazy. As the saying goes ‘a problem shared is just making us look bad, so maybe just rest the vocal chords and get back to work'”.