Legend Mother Drops Round Of Lucozade To Family At Christmas Dinner


AS IF she hasn’t already done enough already this Christmas morning, Lea Roche has single-handedly cemented her legendary status among family members with a round of ice-cold bottles of Lucozade, WWN can confirm.

Anticipating the need for post-Christmas Eve refreshments, Roche wowed the family with her stunning intuition, forcing a round of applause from those lucky enough to attend her annual feast.

“Praise be, it’s the sweet nectar of the Gods,” offered son Darren Roche, followed by a loud complimentary burp and a frown from his father, “excuse me, I’m gasping, lads,” he continued, now burping again for good measure, into his elbow this time.

Now part of the annual family tradition, a case of loosely opened Lucozade bottles lay firmly in the packed fridge, taking its place on the ‘necessities tray’, flanked by Brussel sprouts and a now setting sherry trifle.

“You’ve got to treat them after a year that was a bigger pain in the behind that my mother-in-law,” Leah Roche confirmed, now content her family are in their element, “yes, dad will be asleep by 2pm after doing the Lion’s share of the cooking, Darren will be arguing with his sister over something by 3, nanny will be over with her latest knitting ventures for everyone by 6, but at least we’re all alive and safe together,” she added, sipping on the last remaining bottle like a pro.

“Right, Willie Wonka time; time to get cracking on the gravy,” she concluded, before wiping off her orange moustache.