Varadkar Hoping People Don’t Bring Up All The Times He Said TDs Should Resign For Less

IN THE WAKE of the controversy surrounding Tánaiste Leo Varadkar leaking the confidential contract agreement between the IMO and the government to a friend attached to rival group the NAGP, the Fine Gael leader would really prefer if no one brought up all the times he called on others to ‘consider their position’ for less.

“Look it, help us out here, whatever you do don’t bring up the fact he called on Big Phil to ‘consider his position’ for his Covid staycation road trip, or Denis Naughten when he had a lunch with someone and didn’t declare it, or when he removed the whip for Fine Gael senators involved in Golfgate” shared the government’s spin unit.

“Saying politicians actually have to suffer the consequences of their actions is only okay when Leo is saying it of someone else so he can look good,” added the spin unit.

In a bid to distract the public from concentrating on the potentially ruinous scandal and calling for something called ‘accountability’, the government is considering letting the public buys clothes in shops again.

However, not everyone considers the leaking of confidential documents by elected representatives a big deal:

“You didn’t hear from me but apparently everyone is saying how this isn’t actually a big deal at all and we should all just ignore it,” a man clearly Varadkar in a moustache said as part of an attempt to leak information to the media, “hey, everybody look poor old Sean Connery passed away!”

Sinn Féin, still high on the moral authority they’ve gained from making three of their members resign over a Covid grant scheme scandal only after BBC NI found out about it and made it public, stated would like to personally thank Varadkar in the Dáil tomorrow for taking the spotlight off them.