Scaredy Cat Teachers Calling For Strike


A BUNCH of scaredy cat teachers have voted to take industrial action because they’re terrified of a little global pandemic, WWN has learned.

Claiming improper safety measures and a lack of immediate testing for children and staff, the bunch of chicken shits voted in favour of leaving parents stuck at home with their own snotty nosed kids.

“I respect the right to strike but not minding everyones’ kids all day because there’s a silly little killer virus around is a bit of a lame excuse, if you ask me,” said one worried parent, who fears now he will have to spend more time with his three children ‘if these fucking precious little cupcakes call a strike’.

“It’s all about money with these workshy teachers,” shared one irate mother, reffering to the demands for improved health and safety protocols, “them teachers have more holidays than Kim Kardashian,” added the mother, whose first lockdown expressions of ‘they’re all heroes’ were a very distant memory.

Meanwhile, the government has tried to negotiate with the teachers union, proposing a series of new measures to help keep poopy pants teachers happy.

“We can drill large holes in the classrooms to ventilate the place, they can throw on a few extra layers if it’s cold,” one proposal read, “if they want everyone to give them a little clap going to work – we can arrange that too – or label them frontline workers and get them a little slot on The Late Late Show and some praise.

“Whatever floats their boats, just get back to work and teach some asymptomatic transmitters… I mean, children”.