Absolute Legends Planning 12 Shebeens Of Christmas


A BUNCH of absolute legends have confirmed that lockdown restrictions will not effect this year’s annual 12 pubs of Christmas piss-up as they will now attend 12 shebeens instead.

Shebeens, an illicit bunch of underground bars in which excisable alcoholic beverages are sold without a licence, have grown in popularity across the island of Ireland as a result of pandemic restrictions, making them the new port-of-call for whelps gagging for pints.

“We’ve already got the goo on us so lets do a few practice runs first,” said ringleader of the lads, Niall Tobin, during a group Zoom call earlier today, “it’s gonna be fucking epic and we’ll even wear novelty Christmas masks and all so we can share pics on social media – it’ll be gas craic”.

The bunch of messers are expected to take several days traveling from shebeen to shebeen as they are few and far between, turning the 12 shebeens of 2020 into the most epic session yet.

“Aw lads we’ll be hammered by the 10th shebeen,” jested Cormac Reilly, designated drunk driver of the group and the only lad with a van, “sure if we get stopped we’ll just say we were coming back from Brussels and heading to a golf event… class”.

However, some shebeen proprieters have already warned traveling groups of Christmas jumper/mask wearing young lads that they will not be served if they’re just going to have ‘the one and fuck off again’, and must adhere to the rules and regulations at all times.

“They better use the sanitizer provided at the door and only smoke in the smoking areas; I didn’t go to all this trouble to build an illegal pub in my basement for a bunch of little pricks to ruin it and get me in trouble,” concluded one shebeen operator.