Government Declare This Week ‘National Screw Over Women Week’


NOT CONTENT with having this week be forever remembered for the state once again compounding the suffering endured by former inmates of Mother and Baby Homes, the government has expanded its programme of screwing over women this week to include victims of the CervicalCheck scandal.

With the Department of Health plowing ahead with a CervicalCheck Tribunal without allowing for the inclusion of recommendations from the 221+ Group, made up of women and families affected by the scandal, NSOWW is rushing through its list of surprise events and announcements in this its inaugural year.

“The yanks have that Black History Month, we thought about a Black History Minute over here, but for now, with the wealth of options available to the state in terms of betraying and letting women down a National Screw Over Women Week seemed a no-brainer,” explained a government spokesman.

“Look, our hands are tied on this tribunal business, sorry,” said Department of Health officials as they purchased string and voluntarily tied their own hands.

“I wouldn’t use up all your anger just yet, it’s only Wednesday. You probably haven’t even learned about the 3-year breast cancer screening backlog effecting 153,000 women that has arisen due to Covid-19, have you?” confirmed a government spokesman.

The spokesman went on to confirm the government would be available to offer up excuses for their decisions that collapse under the most basic scrutiny some time later this evening, during the only brief window in their diary this week that isn’t labeled ‘add to the already significant historical hardship of Irish women’.

Currently, NSOWW is scheduled to end this Sunday, however, the government wouldn’t rule out extending it to an all year round event that included an extensive programme of surprise last minute, short notice, hoping-the-public-don’t-catch-wind-of-it screw overs.