Students Suspended For Breaching Covid Guidelines To Use Golfgate Judge Excuse


ELEVEN UCC students suspended for allegedly breaching Covid-19 safety guidelines at the university are being urged to use a now tried and trusted method recently utilised by Golfgate judge Mr Justice Seamus Woulfe and simply shrug their shoulders and say they weren’t aware of the rules.

The students could be aided by the fact such a clueless defence of their actions will be a lot more convincing coming from ‘silly immature students’ than a legal professional who has reached a position on the highest court in the land.

“Lads, do the whole ‘how am I supposed to know anything about laws and guidelines and that, it’s not like I have a background in any of this’, it if works for a judge it’ll definitely work for students,” urged one of the affected student’s friend.

“Was there any open partitions splitting two rooms at any of the gatherings you had? Open to the point where you can clearly see into the other room? You could claim you had no idea there were more people than permitted at the halls or houses you were in. It might sound ludicrously stupid, and that’s because it is but apparently it’s an airtight excuse,” added a member of one of the student’s legal team.

The students will be hoping for a similarly positive outcome to that received by Justice Woulfe who was cleared of any wrongdoing in a report into the Golfgate saga, which concluded ‘ah jaysus, the poor innocent lamb if anything he’s been terribly hard done by’.

The conclusion reached by the report has seen people call for a code of conduct to finally be implemented for sitting judges or failing that just going ahead and admitting it’s one rule for them.