Local Man Almost Forgot To Bring Bucket & Mop For That WAP


“I WILL tell you one thing that you can take as fact; if your girlfriend destroys the back seat of your Nissan Sunny with that WAP, then you will never forget to bring a bucket and a mop with you the next time you meet her” advised Waterford man Declan O’Canlon, leaving his house with two armpits full of Lynx, a wallet full of Durex and his mam’s Vileda supermop.

O’Canlon continued on his way to collect his on-again off-again girlfriend Sinead Mara, owner of the aforementioned WAP, after her Intermediate Ladies GAA match outside Dungarvan, with dreams of a pleasant seafront drive on his mind, and perhaps even a chance to park his big Mack truck right in that little garage, if you get his drift.

“Sex, is what I’m talking about. If you didn’t pick that up. But of course, you have to make preparations for Sinead’s explosive female ejaculate” said O’Canlon, sending a ‘b Rite there, didnt 4get bkt n mop’ text.

Although they believed their ‘have sex, mop up’ ritual was unique to them, the young lovers were surprised to hear their exact circumstances described in the Cardi B x Megan Thee Stallion shanty ‘WAP’, which also speaks of the adversity faced by ladies who are moist of vagina.

“When Megan sang ‘get your boots and your coats for this WAP’, I felt that” smiled Sinead as she joined Declan for their date.

“I never thought that there would be a song that would be dedicated solely to the subject of very, very wet vaginas. it’s like they wrote it just for me”.