Total Badass Goes For 2.1km Walk


TIRED of being told what he can and can’t do during this stupid pandemic lockdown nonsense that doesn’t really affect him, Waterford tough nut Ian Daniels has flouted the law by walking 100m outside his assigned 2km zone.

“Fuck da police” exclaimed Daniels, looking over both shoulders in case there were cops hiding in bushes waiting to catch him outside his regulated area.

“And another thing; they said that we were only allowed out for exercise and essential journeys, well this is neither! I haven’t broken a sweat, and I don’t intend to. What are they going to do, arrest me? Make me care about how my actions might affect others? Ha, I don’t think so!”

Daniels is among thousands of people across the nation who are growing increasingly frustrated with having to stay at home to help others, with experts suggesting we could be about to see a spike in people just not giving a fuck anymore.

“There’s only so much you can expect people to go along with, until their inner prick comes out” said one statistician.

“So you have the likes of Mr. Daniels here, who purposefully does what he’s been asked not to do. Ten people see him do it, so they say okay, we’ll do it too. Then ten see them, and so on. Before too long, you’ve just got clusters of these assholes all over the place, and then all our hard work is undone”.

Content that he’s done his bit to ‘stick it to the government’ for one day, Mr. Daniels has returned to his house for the afternoon, making a detour too see his girlfriend along the way, and also call in and see how his Mam is doing.

“Sure it’s grand, I know them. They don’t have Coronavirus, and I’m not dumb enough to have it either”, explained the total cast-iron big-balled badass.