“Yeah, Yeah, 600 Deaths, But When Are The Pubs Open?”


AS part of WWNs opinion series, we give a platform to those who don’t really deserve it. This week is the turn of 28-year-old Niall Murphy, who is sick to death hearing about people being sick to the point of death. 

It’s not too much to ask, is it? I mean, this is Ireland and we’ve got a worldwide reputation to keep up when it comes to drinking in pubs. Wouldn’t you think the government and the news people would put aside their precious little charts and fatality numbers for one bloody second and just let everyone else know when the pubs are going to be opened again?

I’ve spent a large majority of my life investing in this nation’s public houses like my family before me and yet here we all are left in limbo like some kind of discarded paraplegic leper, cast aside from the community. Lest you all forget, it was young people like me on minimum wage that kept the pubs going through the last recession, and I guess we’ll have to do it again, but fair is fair, when are the pubs open again, Mr. unelected Taoiseach?

There are people in Ireland dying all the time and they’re not getting any airplay because they’re not some superstar Coronavirus patient. There’s people dying of thirst out here and I don’t see any frontline staff handing out pints of frosty cold Carlsberg in a Carlsberg glass to them. Where’s our clap for staying at home and staying away from pubs?

Look, don’t get me wrong, all I’m saying is people need to reevaluate their priorities here. I know if I was an old person and caught the virus I’d be the first one to call on the government to just open all the pubs and let other people enjoy their lives. It would be selfish of these people not to. Has anyone even bothered to ask those people? Maybe we should.

And don’t try that ‘phased lifting’ malarky with me. Where’s the talk of an accelerated pulling of pints? I’ll phase lift someone off their feet with an uppercut if they don’t cop on and reopen pubs.

Bottom line; if we can fly entire planes to China and back for personal protection equipment for medical staff, why not bar staff too? We’re all very responsible and educated here in this country and if history has told us anything, it’s that inebriated Irish adults are perfectly capable of adhering to the rules.