“My Single Mother Neighbour Just Bought A Ferrari With Her Covid-19 Payment, It’s A Disgrace!”


AS VARIOUS emergency Covid-19 payments and schemes introduced by the government take effect and help to somewhat ease people’s financial difficulties, a number of people have expressed real concern that the €350 per week emergency payment could be exploited by people.

One such concerned citizen and taxpayer is local Waterford man John Crossan, who revealed exclusively to WWN how some chancers are exploiting the system.

“My neighbour for one; she’s after buying a brand new Ferrari with just one Covid-19 emergency payment. It’s a disgrace,” explained Crossan, who remained bright red for the entirety of our interview.

“Now when I say my neighbour, I don’t actually know her, but sometimes I get so angry at the thought of poor people been given a helping hand, I become prone to exaggeration, but the Ferrari part is true,” added Crossan, who spoke like a man whose modest contribution in tax revenue alone built all the roads and hospitals.

“How’d she buy a Ferrari for just €350? That’s not my job to find out, that’s the government’s. And when they do, they should jail her for 40 years and take her kids off her, and the house she’s getting off the taxpayer. Now, I’m pretty sure she owns her own home, but still, you know what I mean,” Crossan added, growing confused and upset at not being able to figure out why he was so angry at everything and everyone.

“It’s lunacy; before all this poor people were earning fuck all money, and that sort of gave me a wee little chubby. But now, with this stuff that’s going on, some of them are still depressingly poor and will remain poor for the rest of their lives because all avenues to prosperity are closed off to them, but the disturbing thing is that for maybe the next few months they might have a few more euros to their name, it’s an injustice on a scale not seen since the Holocaust.”

“And as I’ve told you, according to the made up thoughts in my mind, that money is not going on food or heating or electricity, that’s right, it’s going on Ferraris – plural -and holidays to Disneyland. Technically, you can’t get a flight anywhere, but trust me, she went to Disneyland yesterday”.

“Honestly! The most sickening thing? She’s there claiming a Covid-19 emergency payment after getting fired from her job that I refuse to believe she had in the first place. I also have it on good authority that she owns a 3-year-old smart phone,” concluded Crossan before collapsing in a heap of exhausted rage.