Local Weirdo Actually Enjoying Precious Time With Family


AT A TIME when people are driven to the point of insanity as a result of being cooped up at home with their family, one local weirdo is eternally grateful and wearing a serene expression, thankful for the time they are sharing with their kin.

While others frantically scour their cramped homes for the sole piece of carpet not occupied by some insufferable sibling, parent or child, Waterford woman Leanne Hassey often finds herself accessing a deep and profound sense of calm and appreciation for her loved ones, something most people would agree is ‘fucking weird in the extreme’.

“Yeah, sounds like she’s fucking lost it if you ask me,” confirmed everyone who cannot wait to race out the door like Usain Bolt once this is all over.

Closely studying every wrinkle, expression and unique personality quirk of her family who she’s been stuck with for the last month, Hassey (25), clearly detached from reality, is already claiming she will look back on this period of time with great fondness.

“We’re playing board games and watching movies together  – it’s great. I had no idea my younger brother, Aiden, could be so thoughtful, and God my Mam’s sense humour is so dark, ha, and Dad has like five different kind of laughs. Usually I’d be breezing in and out of the house for work, but now we’re all stuck indoors, I’m starting to appreciate them like never before,” explained Hassey, who is by any normal person’s estimation as mad as a bicycle-riding badger in a burkini.