Irish Lads On Quarantined Coronavirus Cruise Having ‘Absolute Mad One’

A TRIO of Waterford boyos currently under quarantine on a coronavirus-stricken cruise ship moored off the coast of Japan have pleaded with authorities to keep them on lockdown for another few weeks, and also ‘keep the bar stocked’.

The lads, aged between 22 and 26, are not reported to be among the 540 confirmed coronavirus cases on board the Diamond Princess, leaving them free to run amok on the luxury cruise liner while authorities figure out what to do next.

Designated spokesperson “Free-Wheeling” Ian Whelan spoke exclusively to WWN about his group’s trip to the Far East, describing it as ‘a trip gone wrong, gone right’.

“We stopped off on our way to Sydney, the cruise cost fuck all so we said why not” stated Whelan, from poolside on the deck of the liner.

“We were set to get off when we were told that actually, we were quarantined for the foreseeable future. So we did what any Irish person would do in a situation like this; we hit the bar and stayed there. There’s a load of passengers that haven’t left their cabins in fear of contracting the coronavirus. They must not know that alcohol is a natural antidote to pretty much any sickness. Few whiskeys, you’ll be grand. There’s talk of us being released this week, so we’re making the most of it while the Japanese Government are picking up the tab!”

You can follow Whelan on his Instagram page, which currently is 95% made up of him and the lads getting served cocktails by bar staff wearing hazmat suits.