The Perfect Pillow To Scream Into If You’re Fed Up With The News

Facebook Share Share
Twitter Share
Flipboard Share
Reddit Share
SHARES

HAS the daily routine of keeping yourself familiar with news around the world and at home proven too stressful an endeavour on this inglorious day?

Does learning about the new depths various countries, institutions, corporations and world leaders have plunged to left you feeling particularly infuriated? Well, we have the perfect pillow for you to shout and scream into until you tire yourself out.

The super absorbent surface of the Loremax FirmSleep instantly dries if you’re the type who also likes to get a good cry in when cursing this basket case of a world we live in, and honestly, is the perfect pillow to just scream and scream and scream into.

Not really feeling like you want to see Boris Johnson parade himself around like a show pony in front of the Queen, nor have you any interest in hearing how Robert Mueller’s evidence to US Congress confirms for the hard of hearing that Trump is guilty of obstruction of justice? The memory foam feature means you can keep dipping your head in and out of the Loremax in between taking breaks from searing your lungs after shouting as loudly as you can.

Do you automatically ball you fist in anger and frustration at hearing how indifferent the government is to the plight of the homeless? Good old Loremax can take punches too, don’t worry if it will retain its firm shape.

Sick of media outlets excitedly telling you about the lovely weather on the way due to climate change while in another article they criticise the government’s reluctance to take climate change seriously? The Loremax FirmSleep is the best pillow on the market, its uncompromising firmness can absorb all manner of wailing, screaming and shouting no matter how low or pitched it may be.

Appalled and worn out by the callous inhumanity of Israel blowing up the homes of Palestinians? The Loremax will never let you down, it never gets tired or shows fatigue so look, if you want to lie here on your bed and scream for six hours straight, the Loremax won’t quit on you.

Just learned that Facebook will be fined $5 billion dollar for privacy violations, and that they tried threatened the journalist trying to report the violations with a legal action? You know how that Loremax jingle goes: “Loremax, FirmSleep. Lie down. Scream! Scream!”

ONE MORE THING: Like what WWN does and think Satire (known in Ireland as 'taking the piss') is worth supporting as we face the threat of legal action, the permanently offended and 'Big Tech'?

We're not arrogant enough to think we make the world a better place (that's the job of megalomaniacal dictators) but a small contribution of €5/$5 a month from readers can enable us to keep doing what we're doing, and what's more is we'll give exclusive bonus content and offers to our supporters.

WWN's least favourite phrase in the English language is 'they only love you when you're gone' so help keep us going if you can.

Signing up is easy and done HERE.
Comments ( 1 )
Share what you think.
Facebook Share Share
Twitter Share
Flipboard Share
Reddit Share