Get To Know The Green Party

IRELAND’S environmentally focused political party and former Fianna Fáil coalition partner are back in the big time with a strong showing in European and local elections.

Get to know the Green Party in this easily compostable guide:

Former government minister Eamon Ryan is the party’s leader and certainly leads by example. Putting the environment first, he refuses to drive to work and instead allows a bike to cycle him to Leinster House.

The party has won 49 seats on local councils so far and have already vowed to fix potholes using organic Tarmacadam made from recycled Green Party election posters.

Set up in 1981, the Green Party was one of the founding members of the secret society of liberal elites backed by George Soros which created climate change in a laboratory in a sole bid to squander taxpayers money on fabricated agendas.

They were in government with Fianna Fáil when ‘a high volume of shit hit numerous fans’ in 2008 and have since promised to use wind powered fans in all future shit hits.

The Green Party aren’t the only ones who care about climate change though, why, just the other day Fine Gael developed a sudden non-cynical urge to take it seriously too.

Want ‘chopping salad and dismembering vegetables’ listed as a crime comparable to murder.

The party stresses the importance of people coming together to collectively do their bit for all of society and the environment which really puts off a lot voters who want someone else to properly separate their rubbish into the proper bins.

Contrary to fear mongering from spiteful rival politicians, the Green Party will not turn everyone vegan through a campaign of liberal propaganda. They will achieve this aim simply by flooding the water supply with mind controlling, ethically sourced chemicals.

Successively brought in the Cycle to Work scheme when in government, meaning they are directly responsible for your irrational hatred of cyclists.