We’ve Put Derry Girls In This Headline But It’s An Article About Wheelie Bins

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IF THERE’S one thing we’ve learned by closely observing our online news site rivals it is that putting critically acclaimed Channel 4 comedy ‘Derry Girls’ in a headline can guarantee more clicks and better engagement. However, this story is about the new roll out of wheelie bins in the wider Dungarvan area and we apologise for any confusion caused.

Sorry we know the wildly popular show, which the public at large has such a fondness for shouldn’t be exploited like this but we’ve got to use every dirty trick in the online publishing book considering the concept of producing anything original ourselves remains alien to our industry.

Starting next week, refuse collection companies will distribute new bins to homes in an effort to replace some obsolete bins which are harder to secure and lift into a new fleet of state of the art rubbish trucks.

Could we just have cynically exploited the show’s popularity for our own gain in an easier way by throwing a few random tweets from people in here and calling it an ‘article’? Sure, but we respect our readers and their need to be kept up to date with important news too much to do that for a 9th time today.

If you are a Dungarvan resident there will be no changes to the way your rubbish bills are calculated just like how Derry Girls, upon repeat viewing doesn’t change, actually if anything it gets better.

Once again, to clarify for those who came to this article hoping to find out about the further adventures of Erin, Clare, Orla, Michelle and James this is in fact an article about wheelie bins.

Delivery of the new bins starts from 8am Monday and your old bins will be collected so leave them at the front of your home. You cannot keep the old bins.

Check back tomorrow when we turn a tweet from a background extra who was momentarily visible in the very first episode of Line of Duty into a clickbait headline along the lines of ‘Line of Duty STAR sparks controversy with this tweet’.

ONE MORE THING: Our articles have been free for the past 10 years and will remain so for the foreseeable future. We've since launched an exclusive service for sound fuckers to donate a price of a fancy coffee per month in return for a whole new tier of quality satire. So please, give our small team some support, you absolute legend. Thanks.

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