Children’s Hospital Rounded Up To €10bn To Avoid ‘Future Overspending’


IN A bid to curb future overspending on the new children’s hospital in Dublin, it has been decided to round up the budget from €485 mn to €10 billion, WWN can confirm.

The decision comes after a PWC review, tasked with finding out who knew what and when about the cost of the project, found a ‘series of weaknesses’ around planning and budgeting, but like most Irish inquiries, failed to find out who was responsible.

“It’s a good, round number, and a figure that is almost possible to surpass,” guaranteed Health Minister Simon Harris, who proudly came up with the new €10 billion budget.

“This genius idea will make sure this hospital will never run over budget, ever again. Problem solved. You’re welcome”.

An original figure of €485 million for the development was approved by the government in 2017, but spiralled to what was an estimated €1.7 billion last year after someone forgot to carry the 2 when estimating.

The maverick move by the government will now see all future development budgets in Ireland rounded off to the nearest 10 billion, thus saving anymore embarrassing financial oversights.

However, since passing the new children’s hospital budget earlier today, building contractors found even more snags in the planning and cost of the new facility, warning that in the space of just a couple of hours, the €10bn may now also be surpassed.

“We forgot to add in the materials cost,” explained one of the many contractors on site who don’t have any names, “yeah, that’s it, we forgot to add in the materials, that 1.7 billion figure was just labour costs, yeah, labour costs, so it will probably be way more than that now we think about it – like, way more”.